Asia

I always thought that I would never have any children. I loved my life with my husband. We had a lot of freedom, and both of us had our sports that we are into. We had a dog and a cat. Life was easy and we were happy. We played around with the idea of having kids, and for a year it was a back and forth conversation. Sometimes we thought it would be a good idea, sometimes we thought it would be a bad idea. But we never actually decided to actively try for a baby; the decision kind of got made for us.

Last summer my period was late in April. I immediately took a pregnancy test and it was negative, so I did not worry or think anything of it. My period was just going to be late this time, not like that has never happened before. When it still hadn’t come in 3 weeks, I took another test and it too, was negative. I started to worry a little bit. By the end of May, I decided to go and see a doctor. I got a bunch of tests done, pregnancy test included, and everything came out fine. I was healthy, and my missed periods got attributed to too much training. So I guess my husband and I started acted like a couple of irresponsible teenagers (if you know what I mean). Nothing would happen, right? I’m obviously not ovulating, and he being a cyclist, well, I don’t have to get into details about how many hours he spends on a bicycle seat…Ha. Were we ever wrong.

I found out that I was pregnant at the end of June. I was in Victoria with my best friend, having a girl’s fun holiday and our last day there I felt very strange. I got the biggest nap attack of my life and felt more tired than I ever had in my whole entire life! My friend suggested I take a pregnancy test and I thought what the heck, although I was certain I was not pregnant. When the test was positive, I just about fainted. I sat on the kitchen floor, staring at it blankly for 20 minutes. My friend broke the silence by suggesting that we go get another test, the most expensive one this time. It too, came back positive. And so our adventure began.

I knew right away that I wanted to have a natural birth in the comfort of my own home. I was an athlete, I felt strong and confident and my family was behind me 100%. The only one who needed a little convincing was my loving husband, who always puts my safety first. In the end, he agreed.

My labour started at 4:30 am, on February 27, 2010, even though I had lost my mucous plug on Feb 15. Because of that, we figured that labour could start any minute so we installed the birth pool in the basement. I was getting excited, but turns out that I would have to wait a little more. On Feb 27, I woke up because I felt something wet between my legs… my first thought was that I had peed myself during the night. So I went to the washroom to check things out, and suddenly realized that this was not pee, but my water had broke! I went to the couch were my husband was sleeping (I happened to have kicked him out of bed that night because he was snoring) and said “I think things are happening”. At 4:45I started having what felt like strong menstrual cramps, so we called Claire, our doula. Because my voice was controlled and she did not sense any urgency, she told me to try and rest and get comfortable with pillows and get some sleep or maybe try to take a warm bath. I tried to rest, but there was no getting comfortable for me so we called her back at about 6:45. After my husband told her that my contractions were about 1 minute long and 4 minutes apart, she said she was on her way and for us to call our midwife. I knew at that point that I wanted her there with me. I was relying on her to be one of the key people who were going to support me through this birth. Once we got our midwife on the line and she heard my voice, she said she was coming right over. Claire got to our house first, and helped me breathe through my contractions. She rubbed my back and spoke words of encouragement. She did the double hip squeeze for me as I was labouring at the foot of my bed, breathing and trying to vocalize low moaning sounds to help get me through the contractions. All I could think of was to let go with each and every contractions – don’t work against it, work with it. Let my uterus do the work and open for me. She helped Jason understand how to help me more. She made sure that I stayed hydrated and that I was peeing. She basically was the brains of our operation! At around 7:15 in the morning, I felt really nauseous and started vomiting. Funny, but every time I vomited it made me feel a lot better and it somehow lessened the intensity of the contractions. Once our midwife got there, she immediately instructed Jason and my mother in law, Barbara, to fill the pool downstairs, as I was planning on having a water birth. Once I got in the pool, halleluiah! My contractions felt more bearable and I was a lot more relaxed. My husband got in the pool with me and held my hips during every contraction. I did not realize how much that helped until one time his hands slipped and the pain intensified a lot! At around 8:15 am, the midwife checked me and happily stated that I was at 6 cm dilated and paper thin already! I was really surprised because as a first time mother, I figured I would be progressing a lot more slowly. By 9 am, I was beginning to wonder how much longer things would be, as the contractions kept coming and coming with no break and no end in sight. I think I began to get a little discouraged and questioning on whether or not I made the right decision to have my baby at home. By 9:30, time started to feel like forever. Even with everyone gathered around me and trying to encourage me, I was starting to fade a little bit. I don’t remember what anyone said or did – this point in time because a real blur. However, the midwives and the doula suggested that I get out of the pool and walk around in order to get the baby in a better position. Reluctantly I agreed, and once I stepped out of that water I wanted to strangle everyone around me!! I felt much worse being out of the pool and insisted that I go back in. Getting back in the pool was such a huge relief! The midwife checked me again and said that I just had a little lip of cervix left, so with the next contraction, she helped push it out of the way (which was the worst part of my entire labour!). Both the midwife and the doula gave me more words of encouragement to help me get through. It’s funny, I had all this stuff planned for my birth, like candles, music, certain clothes, and I ended up doing everything in near silence in my dark basement. The whole time that I was in the pool, Claire was at my front, holding my hands, and Jason was at my back, holding my hips. Claire coached me to start grunting my baby down. I was terrified of tearing more than anything else, so she helped me to gently start grunting. Once I was ready to start pushing, I changed position and was on my back in the pool, up against Jason. I pushed when I wanted, and for how long I wanted. No one yelled at me to push, no one told me I needed to push for longer, everyone just let me do my thing, and somehow my body just knew what to do. I was so glad I was in the pushing stage. For me, it was a lot easier and more bearable than the contractions because I could control the amount of intensity I felt by slowing or stopping my pushing. I kept trying to feel the baby’s head, but all I could feel was something weird and mushy that couldn’t possibly be a head! I finally felt her head when she was very close to being out, and with a gentle push I felt her head come out. A second later, with an even gentler push, the rest of my baby came into this world. The midwife caught her and put her on my chest and I could not believe that I had just delivered my baby! Jason and I were so overwhelmed by the moment that we did not even check whether it was a boy or a girl! After a few minutes, we saw that we had a brand new baby girl. Elina Julia Hargreaves was born February 27, at 11:53 am. She came out pink, perfect and full of life. After about 15 minutes, my husband and I were able to walk upstairs to the comfort of our own bedroom, as we watched this new little person looking at the new world around her.

Relatively speaking, I think I had a beautiful and calm birth. Nothing like all of the horror stories I heard. I did not scream, and I was pleasantly surprised to know that it was not as difficult as I thought it would be. Honestly, I have run races and ultramarathons that were longer and more difficult!! Breastfeeding is a whole other story. We had a rough start and problems latching. I had to use a nipple shield for the first three weeks. That was definitely a bummer, but we persevered and one day out of the blue, Ellie just decided she was going to know how to breastfeed on her own. She is a happy, thriving little baby girl, who taught me so much through our birthing experience, and continues to teach me and help me to be a better person everyday.

I could not have had such a wonderful birth experience without the people who surrounded me – Claire, who always spoke up for me and made sure that everything was about me. The midwives, who helped ensure that Ellie was born safely and quietly, and my amazing husband, who never left my side for a second and knew exactly what I needed him to do. I feel very privileged to have had such an amazing birth.